I am embarking on a spiritual journey. It's not just a journey about religion. It's not a journey about finding Truth. It's a journey about finding myself and learning things and becoming stronger. I feel like this is the time for my journey to begin.
To begin this journey, I'm dreading my hair. It's symbolic in so many ways and I believe that these dreads will take me on a bigger journey than I can imagine.
Katie Pershon and Sarah Laman-Reed (I'll have to find a way to keep these Sarah's straight in here so you remember. This Sarah isn't best friend/old roommate Sarah with Finn. This Sarah is a friend of Katie's who's also fast becoming my friend.) are dreading my hair on Saturday. My birthday is next Tuesday and I've been feeling like the time to begin this journey has happened. They wanted to do it for me. They're actually excited about it. Sarah had her hair dreaded before and just recently got rid of her dreads. I'm really excited, but I know that a lot of people won't understand this journey.
I tried to explain it to my mom. I kept the conversation, so I thought I'd post it on here, not only for my own reference, but also so that you can see what I'm talking about as well.
At this point in the conversation via MSN messenger, we had talked about our lives right now, etc. And now I tell her about the dread (and cut out some of the convo about off topic things at the end).
Brianna says: (11:51:11 AM)
The other thing I wanted to let you know is that I'm dreading my hair on Saturday. We're having a 2 day "Dreadfest" at Katie Pershon's house. Drinking lots of chocowine and watching movies and doing my hair and celebrating my birthday. I tell you this so that you're not surprised when you see it next.
MARY says: (11:51:52 AM)
I heard through the grapevine...no response ;)
Brianna says: (11:56:46 AM)
I know you don't approve but I have a million reasons why this is the perfect time and why I feel that I need to do this. It's a lifestyle change- it's a way of life and a way of living.
I'm moving on from being the victim to taking control of my life. I went to the doctor's on Friday and I found out that I've lost 10 pounds. He estimates that I'll lost 150 pounds within the next 2 years. If I add diet and exercise possibly within the next year. My life is turning around. I'm getting more energy. I'm making life changes.
MARY says: (11:56:56 AM)
MARY says: (11:57:08 AM)
Brianna says: (11:57:42 AM)
I'm going on a spiritual journey to find myself and what I believe, delving into it more than before.
I know that a lot of people think that I have pretty hair and that I'm this pretty girl, but inside I feel like I'm free. I want to reflect outside what I feel inside. I want to go back to nature and be natural. Dreads are something I've wanted for a long time and I feel like I NEED to do this for myself. It's hard to explain, but this feels like the final step in a long journey and yet the beginning step in a new one. It's not just a hair color or something like that- it's a new way of living, a new life, a new choice. It's a decision that will be symbolic of the new journey my life is taking. And that's why I want to do this.
MARY says: (11:58:15 AM)
I just don't understand how looking like a major Bob Marley fan is going to change your life
MARY says: (11:59:43 AM)
goos frah bah
Brianna says: (12:02:04 PM)
That's a misconception. There are so many different ways that dreds can look. It's a stereotype. I want to let my hair be natural, connect to myself with new sensations and a new look. It's hard to explain myself to you because, no offense, but you're of the Victorian mindset and I've become much more hippy. I'm even washing my hair and body with all natural soap now. I'm delving into herbs. I'm looking at natural ways to do things. I'm using cloth pads. I cloth diapered. I want to have a garden and grow my own food. I literally worship the earth. So it's hard to explain to y ou why this means so much to me because I feel like I'm asking you to understand something that I'm just understanding myself.
And so instead of asking people's permission for these things, I'm more or less asking your tolerance while I embark on this journey. Dann doesn't even quite understand it, but he's supportive of me doing something. ...
Brianna says: (12:03:20 PM)
Not that you're not
That's not what I'm saying
I'm saying I told you not for permission but more for a warning so that you can understand that it's not a where's waldo tattoo under my arm- this is symbolic to me more than you can possibly understand
MARY says: (12:05:06 PM)
ok, then go for it...but I still think you are the strangest person I know...but I love you even so.
MARY says: (12:09:26 PM)
just remember that not all hippies did drugs...you can stay clean...pot costs money
Brianna says: (12:09:34 PM)
Brianna says: (12:09:47 PM)
Mom, I've seriously never tried them in my whole life
MARY says: (12:09:47 PM)
unless you are going to grow your own..hahe
Brianna says: (12:09:52 PM)
Brianna says: (12:09:55 PM)
That's true too
Brianna says: (12:10:18 PM)
Gavin has such bad smoke asthma that even the thought of smoking makes me feel like I need to protect him
Brianna says: (12:10:21 PM)
So no worries there :)
MARY says: (12:10:44 PM)
lol, well that's one thing then :)
Brianna says: (12:11:27 PM)
fair enough. I'm just a tree hugger. :)
But I think you saw this coming when I was in high school and talking to trees
To be fair
MARY says: (12:12:11 PM)
sigh...I guess so. You're so fey. hahe
Brianna says: (12:15:14 PM)
Anyway, both the boys are gone so I'm gonna spend some time with Dann now. I love you :)
MARY says: (12:15:38 PM)
love you too fairy face
To add to that, I stumbled across this site on my
casual dreadlock google search and it echoed so much in my soul. http://theorganicsister.com/one-year-later/http://theorganicsister.com/two-years-and-authenticity/
I am so ready for this journey. There are things that I know that I'll learn along the way that will be huge for me. Some of them are patience, self-worth, strength, and the two that are mentioned on that aforementioned site- judgement, acceptance, and vanity.
I feel like it's time to stretch myself, to mold and shape who I am. I'm done being the victim in my life. I'm done with the drama the past few years has had. I'm done with the person that I've had hovering over myself. It's a journey of moving forward, of moving on. It's a journey of understanding myself, of learning to be free. I am free inside, but some things hold me back. I know. I know. What are dreads going to do to change that? But it's not the dreads. It's the symbolism of the dreads. I'm excited to do this. I'm excited to move forward. I'm excited for this entire change. I can feel the energy surging through my body at the thought of it.
It's time to take control of my life once again. But this time I don't have an end destination in mind- I'm looking forward to the journey.